The Mommy of the Year Award goes to…………….
Cooper has been testing my patience lately with throwing little tantrums over anything he doesn’t agree with like the fact that he has to have dinner, has to have milk with dinner, how much milk he has to drink (a kiddy cup full), the fact that he has to get ready for school/camp in the morning, etc. For some reason it’s the everyday tasks that he is debating with me. On Wednesday I sat him down and had a long talk with him about how “life’s not fair” and sometimes you have to do things you don’t necessarily want to do. I felt like I was reiterating the very same words my Dad used to always tell us! His go-to line was “Sorry, life’s not always fair” and it still is!
After our little heart to heart I thought Coop’s attitude would improve – even if just for a day or two. It didn’t last long! In the morning we have a little schedule we follow every day for years now. I get up and get ready, wake Cooper up and he has about 20 minutes to watch TV and really wake up before he has to come downstairs and have breakfast, get dressed, etc. When I tell him breakfast is ready that is his cue to come down and get his little toosh moving! When I tell you we have being completing this ritual for years, I mean YEARS. Coop is a creature of habit and 9 out of 10 times will ask for waffles for breakfast. So the fact that I asked him to come down for breakfast this morning is nothing new. Or so I thought.
After asking him to come down I hear him start to move and then stop. He asked if he could just finish that show. I replied “No, it’s time for breakfast and to get ready for camp”. Stomp Stomp Stomp down the stairs he comes sulking. He then proceeds to tell me that he doesn’t want to be here with me and he wants to be in Florida. GASP!!!! I asked him why he would say that and he just replied “I don’t want to be here”. (Picture a big balloon deflating quickly – that is how I felt!) I slowly explained to Cooper that it hurts my feelings when he says things like that and I know he doesn’t mean it. He sits and sulks! I ask him to apologize. He says “sorry” quietly and under his breath. Urgh – nothing frustrates me more.
Here is where my MOTY award comes into play. Instead of just letting it go for what it was – a spur of the moment comment because he was upset that he couldn’t finish his TV show – I proceed to give Coop the silent treatment while we continue to get ready. He apologizes again, more sincerely this time, and I say “I’m glad you’re sorry Cooper but that really hurt my feelings”. We get out the house and get to camp in silence. All the while I am a little hurt but more just standing my ground to try to drive home my point that he needs to be nicer to Mommy and not say hurtful things to anyone.
Well after I say goodbye to him quickly and he goes into camp I was standing there talking to the director. Coop comes back out and he looks like he is about to burst into tears. He says “Mommy, I REALLY am sorry!” I was still talking to the director so at the time I just said “ok” and then when I was done talking I told him I’m not mad at him and that it’s okay. He still looks like he is going to cry so I give him a little more attention on his level and a big hug and say goodbye. As I’m walking out the door I turn back to see him trying his hardest not to cry and really feeling bad! It absolutely broke my heart. I could have burst into tears right there on the front patio of the summer camp!
I have a very bad habit of playing the ‘guilt card’ with Cooper and I recognize when I’m doing it and yet I still cannot get myself to stop! Why do I do that? Moms out there – do you do this with your kids? Is it just an act of desperate parenting gone wrong?
I feel so bad for him now. I don’t want him thinking that he is a “bad kid” because I go overboard with the guilt trips! When I got to work I thought seriously about calling there so I could talk to him and tell him again that it’s okay and that I’M sorry! So my guilt trip turned around on me! Damn karma!
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